SAPPHIC SPACE
projections of Sappho fragments from translations in If Not, Winter by Anne Carson around my apartment / summer & fall 2022 / Denver, Colorado / writing process follows / a stint of time where I woke up “naturally” at 3am most nights for weeks and couldn’t sleep so I wrote and channelled and looked at Sappho projections at 4 in the morning / wrote more / exerpt below from 9.23.22
COPYRIGHT MAURA M. MODEYA
]
3am—
Sappho has come back for me
I am delirious with sleep [emerging]
The larger half of me—the waking half—has not caught up
The sleeping half is here delighted
Three nights I slept well and did not write
As much as I craved sleep I also feared the visits would stop—
(now again)
I’m here belly down in bed
writing—
I asked you Sappho to speak to me in my dreams—
I entered the dream and upon waking I do not think the dream existed in my mind
I feared there would be no messaging from you
despite longing for sleep—
I’ve luxuriated in 3 nights of rest—
This autumn night is hot
There is honey on my arm
I am but another subject in a dream—
I’m crouched over in sleeplessness
belly down
]soft bed
would you let loose your longing
]no sound
our minds falling
eros unruly
[distance distracts]
Eros awakens me [pulls me]
Sappho awakens me [pulls me]
]in the in between
longing
Sappho, holy place
]your longing
loose
Any holy place
]holy place
where we were absent
Let loose your longing
across my collarbones
beyond my neck
Let loose your longing
until it makes its own dream
[we enter the dream]
your language enters mine
your language anointed
your language anointed on my back
dripped over shoulder blade
over
Aphrodite neck
]desire
lovely form
[ ] shadow
[ ] space between desire
[ ] the necessary space between
desire
I drag my finger across the mouth
of space
Finger into the mouth of space
]into desire I shall come [Sappho]
into desire I walk directly
FACE IT
I FACE DESIRE
I FACE EROS
I FACE W/THE INTENT TO
FAMILIARIZE
RADIANT
]and it’s nothing
Speak to me
Become a voice
]right here
(now again)
atop palm
within it
within mouth
right here [neck]
now again [shoulders]
]for
belly
But a kind of [eros] has a hold of me
to die
to be set loose
Is this also eros?
Back and forth remembering
It’s not easy for us
My mind tingles
face to face with my notebook
My notebook is an assembly
Has sleep come for me?
(now again)
4am—
I tried for sleep
it would not come
I fear it less
the hour goes by
5am—
I’m in your language
]
6am—
I face it—
Nightworld brink
I kneel at nectar
I kneel for nectar
desire
nectar [poured from]
Aphrodite [eros]
Dream hand atop waking hand
Dream hand in nectar
Kneel at door of desire
]loosen
]loose
]let loose your longing
to be carried toward
eros carries us toward
into
through
desire
burn
burn with longing
sweet Sappho sleep
long for sleep
for dream
grant me both
]would you be willing?
]daring
6am—
sensed the stretched light
]coming
]dawn
wake!
pray this word:
I want
[Sappho]
Sappho prayer upon my back
[I want]
[this word]
This word stirs me [eros]
]deep sound
Light is stretching in [ ]
Come to me now
Hard care
Eros plays for me harsh
(now again)
I am calling out
deathless sleep
deathless Aphrodite
deathless eros
our language [deathless]
sweet Sappho sleep [deathless]
[unsurprising]
circulated
delirious loop
eros lead me back to voice
back to language
(now again)
I am calling out
immortal language
language will outlast me
deathless language [ours]
[you and me] written
catch my voice [far off]
]
3am—
Sappho has come back for me
I am delirious with sleep [emerging]
The larger half of me—the waking half—has not caught up
The sleeping half is here delighted
Three nights I slept well and did not write
As much as I craved sleep I also feared the visits would stop—
(now again)
I’m here belly down in bed
writing—
I asked you Sappho to speak to me in my dreams—
I entered the dream and upon waking I do not think the dream existed in my mind
I feared there would be no messaging from you
despite longing for sleep—
I’ve luxuriated in 3 nights of rest—
This autumn night is hot
There is honey on my arm
I am but another subject in a dream—
I’m crouched over in sleeplessness
belly down
]soft bed
would you let loose your longing
]no sound
our minds falling
eros unruly
[distance distracts]
Eros awakens me [pulls me]
Sappho awakens me [pulls me]
]in the in between
longing
Sappho, holy place
]your longing
loose
Any holy place
]holy place
where we were absent
Let loose your longing
across my collarbones
beyond my neck
Let loose your longing
until it makes its own dream
[we enter the dream]
your language enters mine
your language anointed
your language anointed on my back
dripped over shoulder blade
over
Aphrodite neck
]desire
lovely form
[ ] shadow
[ ] space between desire
[ ] the necessary space between
desire
I drag my finger across the mouth
of space
Finger into the mouth of space
]into desire I shall come [Sappho]
into desire I walk directly
FACE IT
I FACE DESIRE
I FACE EROS
I FACE W/THE INTENT TO
FAMILIARIZE
RADIANT
]and it’s nothing
Speak to me
Become a voice
]right here
(now again)
atop palm
within it
within mouth
right here [neck]
now again [shoulders]
]for
belly
But a kind of [eros] has a hold of me
to die
to be set loose
Is this also eros?
Back and forth remembering
It’s not easy for us
My mind tingles
face to face with my notebook
My notebook is an assembly
Has sleep come for me?
(now again)
4am—
I tried for sleep
it would not come
I fear it less
the hour goes by
5am—
I’m in your language
]
6am—
I face it—
Nightworld brink
I kneel at nectar
I kneel for nectar
desire
nectar [poured from]
Aphrodite [eros]
Dream hand atop waking hand
Dream hand in nectar
Kneel at door of desire
]loosen
]loose
]let loose your longing
to be carried toward
eros carries us toward
into
through
desire
burn
burn with longing
sweet Sappho sleep
long for sleep
for dream
grant me both
]would you be willing?
]daring
6am—
sensed the stretched light
]coming
]dawn
wake!
pray this word:
I want
[Sappho]
Sappho prayer upon my back
[I want]
[this word]
This word stirs me [eros]
]deep sound
Light is stretching in [ ]
Come to me now
Hard care
Eros plays for me harsh
(now again)
I am calling out
deathless sleep
deathless Aphrodite
deathless eros
our language [deathless]
sweet Sappho sleep [deathless]
[unsurprising]
circulated
delirious loop
eros lead me back to voice
back to language
(now again)
I am calling out
immortal language
language will outlast me
deathless language [ours]
[you and me] written
catch my voice [far off]
]